marriage is a mistake…

… when we think it marks the end of courtship and fun!

Marriage is just another milestone in life that we choose and decide to take on, as a couple. Unlike some other countries, there is very little support for single parent families here, so perhaps, some of us enter into a marriage for the convenience of the governed living ‘policies’.

Marriage, does not mark the end of fun, it’s just a beginning of more fun!! Whether you are planning for an inclusion of a new family member, or harnessing on a crazy tour around the world with some small money, more fun begins, right NOW!  You just need to power up the positive thoughts!

There are so many negative ‘hand-downs’ from the past generations before ours, that we are plagued with phenomenally huge fear that we might not even know why! We fear that if we don’t start getting dead serious about working ourselves to the grave, we may never be able to raise a family; we fear that if we had too much fun even when we are married, we may never be able to achieve anything in life that could see us through our golden years.

As far as Mike and I are concerned, the day when we said ‘I Do’, it was and still is, solely sincere and genuine. We decided then, we decide later.. to create our own rules in our marriage. We refuse to wear the conventional coat, but we are welcoming the eclectic ideas driving towards a more holistic approach towards freedom of joy and happiness.

What we experienced during our courtship, may always be recreated, renewed, and reinvented, agree? The extra little effort we would make for each other, can always be present in marriage. For most of us, we merely chuck that ‘extra effort’ into the mountain-piled of boxes in the messy storage room. We think we don’t need to try harder anymore, now that we are married. Now that we ‘owned’ each other. Seriously, what cave people still think that way? If I won’t even say that my parents own me, how would any man own me? How pathetic and powerless we may become when we surrender our ownerships to ourselves to anyone else?

We do not own anyone, we own the marriage that are made up of two loving people. We own the marriage, hence we are responsible to keep it alive and healthy, always.

Remember those times when our boyfriends would come fetch us after work, every day? We had something to look forward to, so did they. Why do those sweet times cease to exist in most marriages? Mike and I are married since 01 Feb 07, he would still try to send and fetch me to and from places whenever he could, just like before. No doubt, we may get busier, but we will always be busier, if we choose to, no?

I love my new morning walk regime, not only that it freshens up a good day, but also, now I have something to look forward to too. I don’t plan many things that include Mike. I have always resent people making plans on my behalf. I am very strong headed, I can think quite well, and I am certain I am quite capable of planning my own activities and how to utilize my time. I hope this practice would allow both of us to breathe as normally as we have always been, as though we were still single. Mike is more than welcomed to join me in my walk, in fact, because I am not forcing him to adjust his lifestyle and routine, he is more willing to share his precious sleep time with me in the morning walks. I am very happy when he joins me, and I am not upset or disappointed when he doesn’t. When we expect nothing, we receive every joy and happiness in return.