I said I do, because…

… because…

I want to grow old with you

I want us to recount the sweet moments we had together, many years from now

I want us to count the wrinkles off our faces, when the sun sets, and we sit blissfully on a bench waiting for time to pass

and perhaps more to add along the way…

None of what I visualized includes other people, in this simple movie, perhaps approaching the end of this life time’s journey for us, there is just you and I.

By acknowledging this, is powerful, because the usual fuss of your family, my family, your ancestors, my ancestors, your colleagues, my colleagues (I really have no present colleague though), your friends, my friends, your ants, my bugs, and everything else, are no longer quite a fuss. They are just attachments that would eventually be out of the picture… the sweet small framed photo will only show a ‘You’, and a ‘I’, and perhaps your puppy, and my meow. The rest of the miscellaneous people will have their own photos, their own stories, perhaps placed near ours, but they will never be in this uniquely ours photo.

Marriage, only happens to me because it is a joy injecting ‘event’. Marriage is impossible to me, if it’s meant to add hassle to my already complicated life which I am constantly de-complicating. Marriage, is a life-time sharing journey with someone most special. Marriage, exists for a simple reason – happiness.

Marriage doesn’t necessarily change everything in your life, how frightening is that if that is true! Hell, I would never have said yes if I knew my world was going to take such a drastic change! To be honest, I was in perfectly clear and joyful state of living when I was dating Mike, that ’stage’ alone took me years of tears, blood and effort to reach. I had and have absolutely no intention to have a complete face off for that matter. Getting married with Mike only means that instead of growing and learning alone, I now learn and grow with him, and continue to progress as better persons.

Keeping things at the simplest basics, maybe be the easiest way to live a less complicated life.

Say I Do, because you really do.

Marry someone, because you want to see him/her through at the end of the road

Often, we think that marriage comes in a super package, of super blast in the family tree, and complicated entangling relationships. Maybe there is an easier way to deal with such ‘fear’ of commitment. De-complicate it.

I definitely don’t know about you, but I know I didn’t say ‘I Do’ so that I would be further obligations-bound by his family, and his social activities. I said ‘I Do’ for a simpler reason, and intend to keep it that way. If I didn’t enjoy group activities before, I don’t enjoy it now, and I’ve been blessed to have Mike to understand that, and not to lie about it. Mike would simply tell people ’she doesn’t want to come’.

I am someone who dares to tell you right in your face that I don’t enjoy your company; I don’t like that you are taking credit off my work; I don’t want to talk to you because I don’t enjoy it anymore etc. I don’t lie. Think carefully if you plan to corner me for an answer why I say no (or to just leave it as that), do it only if you are ready for seriously raw truth.

I am never a better in-law; I am a better person as I am, because I am non-conforming to the conservative expectation. I am a better friend to Mike’s sister, than I am a sister-in-law. I will always be a friend, but never her type of sister-in-law. I leave people with options, but more than often, others think that they only have one way to handle the situation.

Say, if I am  not a better sister-in-law, or daughter-in-law, I may always continue to be a better friend, or a better son’s wife. Nothing should be so different now, than before. Since the last time I checked, I still have one head, two arms, two legs, one body…etc. Maybe a bigger body, finer hair, more wrinkles on the face, but I think I am pretty much still me, so why should anything change.

As the spouse, if we try to always remember why we proposed to the partner, or why we accepted the proposal, we would have lesser ‘common’ problems like most others may have. At times, I think the in-laws problem is overrated, people keep talking so much about it, we think it’s a problem that has no solution, but to compromise the bond between the two lovers. When you do a reality check, nearly every problem has a solution, maybe not the best perfect outcome to expect, but there is always a solution.

Sometimes, we think it’s too difficult to tell our partner that we do not want to go home with him/her when he/she makes the routine visits to his/her parents’ home. Maybe it’s not so difficult, say it as it should be. No one should force anyone to do something they don’t enjoy doing. Try to keep things at their basics.