merry merry christmas

Everything comes a tad slower now, because I am still not exactly free of work yet. What can I tell you? We are just exceptionally busy now.

This Christmas, like most of my Christmas-es, I would either work like a mad cat, or laze around like a furniture. Either, would serve a purpose. Christmas, is just another usual day, 24-hrs packed in, no more, no less. Except that on this day, the post office is closed, and joy is in the air. I love Christmas for that reason, everyone seems to be happier that day, generally.

Mike was out to a cozy Christmas party with his ex-schoolmates. I don’t usually participate in most of his social activities. I know, and I have heard that many times before, that the wife ’should’ accompany. I really think the ’should’ used here is overrated. You might not believe this, but way way before we got married, I have made it known and understood that I was, am and probably going to be an unconventional wife.

The decision to not attend a social activity is never about the organizer or participating persons, and I couldn’t say it’s non-personal. It is based on personal preference, really. I am just not a crowd person.

We spend a large fraction of our life-time doing what we don’t enjoy, I guess it’s about time that we do just what we enjoy and remain happy about it. I don’t want to force myself to attend an activity for someone’s sake, even if it’s Mike (psychologically, we tend to weigh in our overrated ’sacrifices’ onto the other person, just because we do something for their sake). Let’s say, it’s too trivial a matter that doesn’t justify my struggles. (oh right, it’s a struggle, because that is the extend of resistance I have to fight off).

I didn’t dislike group activities as much as now. I resist crowd (3 is the maximum, I say) activities, because group dynamics can drive everyone to a state of strange behaviors. Often, there are ‘free flows’ of boastful expressions; ego-fights etc, which sometimes lead to differences, and in turn lead to conflicts.

To be fair, it’s not always the case, but for an eccentric person like myself, the only normal things that could happen are bizarreness! Let’s say, I enjoy other stuffs in life. When I was a little girl, such occasions almost promised endless rounds of debate amongst the relatives on topics that were (still are) unimportant, just for the ‘prize’ of winning the war of tongues.

The ideal group size for me would be… 2! (including myself..haha) It’s comfortable and manageable. It is just me, there is no need to try to impress or win a game, you could just be you, while I would be me, as always.

I have always believed that Mike would be able to enjoy an activity better without my company. I could attend any event alone (if I even desire to attend any at all, that is), because my husband is perfectly great as he is, there is no need for him to participate in any activity that he dislikes, just to prove his affection for me. Sometimes, we make lives too difficult to be enjoyable because we are constantly needing other people to try too hard to prove that they care.

This is probably the best arrangement that works perfectly for us. Mike, being an extrovert and very sociable man, gets to enjoy company of good friends; while I, being an introvert, almost a hermit, and best known to be anti-social, gets to enjoy the peace and rest on a popularly busy festive season.

I hope your Christmas has been enjoyable!

appreciating love.. through our imperfections…

We have heard this remark many times, ’still in the ‘honeymoon’ phase eh, no wonder you are still so lovey dovey’. I don’t know, what if ‘honeymoon’ phase is span over a period, like… forever?

Many of us allow negative thoughts to infiltrate into our subconscious mind. We expect good things to be over, and we ‘educate’ our subconscious mind to think that it’s not right to be always happy and loving. Believe me, when we do that, we are literally driving ourselves to sabotage the good, and almost ensuring that we DO NOT enjoy a lifelong happiness.

I have been told many times that love does not last after marriage; that the first 2 years are all sweet and lovely, but the color of love will soon fade off in the years to come.

How about…

I am not perfect, and even though I strive towards bettering myself everyday, I do not aim to achieve perfection. It is because of my imperfections, I wake up every morning, feeling thankful and appreciative, when I look at the same man sleeping next to me thinking, ‘Boy, am I not thankful that this poor guy is still here despite my horrible flaws’.

(that said, I am not exactly encouraging you to enhance or increase your shortcomings)

It makes more sense to me that love grows with each passing day, yes? It is not puzzling that someone may fall in love with me, but it is indeed amazing that someone is willing to overlook my imperfections and continue to love me as who I am.

I’d heard someone said this, ‘He is lucky to have me’. She may be right, however, if we are too puffed up with conceit, we are convinced that our partner is not worthy or deserving of our affection. We may think that he must have been blessed in his past lives to be bestowed with such kindness in this life of enjoying our love. How then, may we appreciate the simple love that we share?

It is pathetic to be the best; while it is a blessing to be flawed, yet given the opportunity to improve.

Take nothing for granted. Our Partner in Marriage may be obliged to remain in the marriage with us; but that may not warrant the feeling they have for the partner.

Always be thankful, always appreciate.

the date with the boy…

It was an impromptu decision. I was telling Mike about the trailer of the Twilight Saga – New Moon. It’s interesting to know that Dakota is guest starring in the movie. By the way, I only watched Twilight (1st movie) recently, and didn’t think too greatly about it, but it’s been delightful to watch, since the ending is good.

Mike suggested to watch the New Moon, and we changed and left the house. I was really tired actually, I have been working like mad lately due to Christmas rush. (still working crazy, by the way) I am also more energy challenged given my recent small episode in hospitalization.

The traffic was bad because of the Christmas crowd, this is one of the reasons I dislike festive seasons, it’s just sardine-packed everywhere. We went to Great World City, where the crowd is manageable at all days of the week, even Friday evenings nearing Christmas!

When we reached the ticketing office, Mike told the ticketing staff, ‘2 tickets for Two Moon’. That poor guy tried very hard not to stare, and the poor ‘neighbor’ colleague couldn’t help but squeezed an awkward smile at me. Subtly, I told the ticketing staff, ‘New Moon, please’. We joked about this until now.. hahaha (This is absolutely not the first time Mike attempted to change the title of anything, words are not exactly his best friends, numbers on the other hand team up with him like soul mates; I am on the reverse, so we do make up for each other’s short comings)

We discussed briefly about the movie afterwards. I think the reason why Harry Potter and Twilight are big hits in the box office, could be due to the availability of fascination factors in the stories. We allow ourselves to indulge in the space of unreality and impossible.

In Twilight, every girl would love to be protected. The feeling of being so loved and desired by someone who is willing to die for you, is probably what we hardly could get in the cold cold city now. The willingness to do everything to protect each other, seems like a rare gem in the bustling busy city, yes? With today’s super fast pace and super high technology, we only have time to think and care for ourselves, we are influence to empower ourselves and self-interest becomes the purpose of this era.

Perhaps, a movie like Twilight rekindle a small hope for us that we, human beings, are like that before… generations before ours. My great grandparents might have a much slower paced lifestyle, they had more time to do things for others, and enough time to care for themselves.

If we attempt to slow down our feet for a bit, we may really have more time to love better, and be better. I would love to do more movies with the boy, because it is probably one of the most enjoyable things in life.

opposite attracts

I really believe in opposite attracts, we are always attracted to what we don’t have; we desire what we don’t have too.

Generally, I am not bright, or smart, simply, I am quite a simpleton. I may think a great deal and adopt the ‘hobby’ in analyzing matters in great depth, find psychological theories enticing and amazing, and eventually develop wayward life philosophy which is sometimes highly impossible to comprehend.

The good thing of being a dumby dumb dumb is that I attract may bright and highly intelligent people! Let’s see, nearly all my besties are smart and highly intelligent, so is Mike. All I need to do to impress them is to remain dumb. haha! That is really not quite difficult, since it’s a knit-in ‘feature’ that is programmed into me since birth. 

Jessie, my long time bestie is disgustingly bright, and we wouldn’t have enjoyed so much fun together if I weren’t plain dumb. She could think up a trick and lie within split second, and I would always fall for it… did I say ALWAYS? We met up recenly, and tried to catch-up all with the missing chapters that had passed us by, and Mike sent me a text asking where I was. After I replied to him, I told Jessie that Mike would be joining us in a bit. When she learned that I told Mike we were still at the same place where he dropped me earlier, she asked why didn’t I say I was somewhere else. I told her that I would need a much longer time to say something untrue. ‘Still stupid, eh?’, she said, and I  have to agree!!!!! ‘Stupid’ was not meant in a bad way from her, it was just plain simple term we both understand fully, and because of the genuine friendship, we can say anything to each other on the face without worrying that we might hurt each other. Let’s say, we know each other well enough to gauge the severity of consequences.

My other besties, such as Cynthia, Cindy, Belinda, Sandra…. and the list goes on… and on.. These ladies are extremely clever, and they are my friends..haha.. Hell yeah, I am so very proud to be dumb, because I get to earn more clever besties! The bonus to have a dumb friend like me, would probably be the effortless attempt to make yourself look smart. That is quite a nice ego booster eh? To top it off, I don’t mind a bit being the less prominent leaf that brings out the better quality of the pretty flower. (This is actually a Chinese saying)

There is a reason why we attract the opposite. It can be quite refreshing to be around friends who are different from ourselves. They may be able to provide a completely different insight into the same matter, an angle we might never be able to view life from. If I were a bright person, I might like to be around a not so bright friend, because it’s not competitive, since we have quite different qualities.

I used to know someone who was always uptight 24/7, as though he was engaged in a battle all day, all night, and would need to ready him for any battle anytime. It was very frustrating for him at first when around me, because he was conditioned to be around fighters, and the only world he knew was battlefield. I was and am nothing close to fit into the category of a fighter. He felt that I was too ‘nice’ and unguarded. He was wearing a heavy duty armor all day, and it became his second nature that he ‘fought’ his friends and family too. As much as he felt an impulse to put me up in a well guarded castle, he actually enjoyed having me around, even though it was very challenging to try to let his guard down.

Living in today’s cities can be quite tiring already, we are constantly challenged by things and people. We are all information overloaded and information hungry at the same time. We think we MUST fight to survive.

Intelligence is not something we could desire to acquire; knowledge doesn’t warrant intelligence. We could however, try to obtain wisdom through passing of events and life lessons.

If Mike had married a smart wife, he might remain very competive and perhaps up the level of intelligence. I could only offer a paced-down lifestyle, and probaby offer a different outlook in life. Perhaps, by marrying a partner who is drastically different than ourselves, it is likely to enrich our contents and widen our visions. We will always desire for each other if we choose to, because we have what the other person lacks of. An envious heart and mind may sometimes ruin the chance to appreciate the beauty of differences; an open mind and wide heart appreciates hidden gems.

still ’shocked’

We spent the Sunday doing travel research for our holiday trips in February and March.

While I flipped through the pages of ‘Lonely Planet’ travel guide, I suggested to Mike that he could go for diving while I go for a half day city tour. I love city tour!!!

Mike decides that he would join me, since it’s advisable to have a trusty diving partner, and of course that would not be me! I would need a donut float if you throw me into the waters! Then, the guide wrote, ‘… Saturday’. I told Mike in a somewhat disappointing tone that it is only available on Saturday.

He said that we could spend one day for that. I repeated, ‘but… it’s a Saturday’. Mike answered again, except that he understood my worry this time around, and said, ‘it’s a 8-day trip, we will have a Saturday, you know?’

hahaha..hahaha… Seriously, I really didn’t think we have a Saturday!!! hahaha.. To top it off, I actually had to ‘calculate’, and replied, ‘oh yeah, we have more than a week, of course we should have one Saturday eh? Unless we skip it?’. At this point, Mike held the plush meow and told that poor little plush, ‘It’s shocking!!!! I’m still shocked!!! After 4 years, I am still very shocked!!!!’

What can I tell you, counting is never (ever!!) my cup of tea.

My dear husband, count your blessings, how many people have the good fortunte to be continually ’shocked’ and ’surprised’ by their partners, eh? It’s always refreshing to know that there is something that doesn’t change, no?